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I originally wrote this post earlier on in the year. I honestly can’t remember what the abuse was that led to it and frankly, that’s probably for the best as its allowed me to re-read this and ensure it comes across as general advice rather than a knee-jerk reaction to a specific unpleasant experience. Whilst the simple process of writing it helped me get the episode off my chest at the time, I’ve decided to post it now because I think it’s important, both for others who encounter nasty behaviour online and for myself when I next do.
Unfortunately, if you spend enough time online and especially if you’re public enough, this is something you’re going to have to deal with sooner or later. Here’s how I handle it.
Abuse
I’m writing this outside the context of any recent events for reasons that will become clearer as you read on, but after the last abuse incident I thought I’d finally jot some things down. Mostly this serves as a reference point – something I may direct people to in the future – but I also write many of my blog posts as a way of forcing me to think clearly about a topic and articulate it in a cohesive fashion.
It may not be something that many of you would have expected, but I’ve often found myself at the receiving end of online abuse. As time goes by and I get more exposure or profile or whatever you want to call it that puts me in front of more people, I get more vitriol from online antagonists. Let me explain what I mean by that, the types of abuse I get and how I’ve elected to handle these incidents.
What I think constitutes abuse
Let me clear this up first because I appreciate there’s a degree of subjectivity to all this. The sorts of online abuse I get ranges from minor name-calling to slurs about my competence or professionalism to serious threats related to my personal life (I’ve come close to contacting the police in the past). I’m not going to detail what any of these actually were here as I simply don’t want to give the trolls the airtime (more on that later), but I do want to describe some of the broader behaviours.
What I don’t consider abuse is vehement disagreement with my points of view, finding factual faults with things I’ve written or said that are incorrect or any other sort of constructive argument that I may not agree with, but is aired without malice or spite. It’s the stuff that’s said first and foremost to insult or cause harm that I put in the abuse bucket. This is particularly true when it’s done from behind the veil of anonymity.
Very frequently, this is aired publicly via Twitter, in blog comments on troyhunt.com or via other online channels. Only very occasionally does it come via private means and it has never come verbally either face to face or via the phone. At times where I have actually engaged with the other party and offered to talk to them, the opportunity has never been taken up.
I should also be very clear that this is nothing like the abuse you hear of some people copping online; repeated threats to safety or family, prolonged “campaigns” of torment, racial or sexual abuse – all of that is a world apart from what I’m describing here. What I cop is merely nasty vitriol in comparison. In fact, very often it’s the sort of thing I’m teaching my six-year-old is just inappropriate, nasty behaviour and I’m teaching him this because it’s the sort of thing you expect from kids, not grown adults.
Let me explain some of the grievances that have come up multiple times before and I’m going to address them here once and for all.
I’m “profiting from security”
The very first